With a heavy heart

Good afternoon from Ireland,

This past week has been a very stressful one for me. I have tried to hide how sad I have been and how rough of a week it was.

This week, even if I did have power would not have been easy…..

As most of you know in January I lost a very, very dear friend to my heart, Patrick. This week was Patricks Birthday. The loss of his life is something that I struggle through every day. Trying to hide how hard it is. This week in particular was even harder because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to have my support system by my side. Fortunately, I had a gift.. Ryan came to Ireland this week. We got to hangout and reminisce about freshman year and patrick and it just felt a lot like 5 years ago when I practically lived with the guys next to me. Its amazing that Ryan just happened to be in Dublin when I’d need someone from home so much. I thank God that he is here.

On top of this, my sorority sister Kristina, lost her best friend in a terrible accident on the fourth. I breaks my heart that I can’t be there for her to support her. It also breaks my heart that I can’t be there to help her go through this pain and that I know exactly what she feels. All I can do is send her text’s and there are no words to express the pain that someone feels and there are no words to make anything better no words to comfort her.

My heart breaks for the loss that has happened this past week. It makes me feel grateful but also that I am selfish being away from my family and friends when they need me so much. That I am in the this beautiful place and they are in so much pain. That Patrick and Katie will both never be able to come experience this beautiful country. I am not sure why God chooses to bring certain people home, But he does and we are left with their memory and their lives will never leave us.

Patrick, Katie and Kristina, This post is for you.

JC

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